1) Is it at all likely that we're going to be here for any length of time, or are we just goofing around for a few hours because events?
2) Didn't we used to have a chat function?

http://www.keaton-world.com/music.html
assorted junk. chuckled at matt's reaction to snoop v dr. robotnik.

the what now?

love me some necromancy.
IT LIVES, IT LIVES!

Fucking Naggers, i always end up cruising into these threads like a day late. Well, ignoring the fact that i'm exhausted, i really don't have an excuse.

Happy birthday, you lucky bastard. Later this summer you and i should find a bar.

that's weird as shit, not gonna lie.

"how do i put this on my iphone? and what's that weird robot?"
/tech-challenged hipster chick.

for those of you who don't know, kristina is my best friend, right up there with matt and pete, and she and i do have random conversations a lot. this one took on a life of it's own.

[12:41:05 AM] Kristina: tell her how u feel
[12:41:07 AM] Kristina: all that
[12:41:13 AM] Kristina: not the long, long run
[12:41:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: that would require knowing how i feel.
[12:41:26 AM] Burtonai.mdc: little flaw in your plan there.
[12:41:30 AM] Kristina: well u gotta figure that out
[12:41:35 AM] Kristina: i can't tell u how to feel
[12:41:49 AM] Kristina: and u will figure it out
[12:42:06 AM] Kristina: i think u already have, it's just sometimes u get confused
[12:42:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: guy, feelings.
[12:42:52 AM] Burtonai.mdc: that battle was over before it started.
[12:43:07 AM] Kristina: okay, guys say they don'[t have feeling, but they do
[12:43:23 AM] Kristina: it's different, it's wayyyy diffent from a woman's
[12:43:31 AM] Kristina: but it's there
[12:43:36 AM] Burtonai.mdc: how the fuck would i know?
[12:43:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i've never been a freaking woman, that doesnt help me at all.
[12:44:13 AM] Kristina: youn nobserve it arounnd u
[12:44:15 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i know i have feelings, i just don't understand them
[12:44:29 AM] Kristina: women are very emotional, u can almost always tell something about how their feeling
[12:44:30 AM] Burtonai.mdc: let alone even trying to understand yours/
[12:44:41 AM] Kristina: guys, well, guys go work out and eat a steak
[12:44:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and women always show one emotion when they're feeling three others
[12:44:58 AM] Kristina: tell u the truth, mine aren't that complicated
[12:45:01 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's infuriating!
[12:45:23 AM] Kristina: give me an example
[12:46:51 AM] Kristina: but i think i know what your talking about
[12:47:06 AM] Kristina: women can go from one emotion to another rather quickly
[12:47:29 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and experience multiple at once.
[12:47:30 AM] Kristina: guys have a slow tranistion from one emotion to another
[12:47:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: like orgasms.
[12:47:44 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ... i mean what?
[12:47:48 AM] Burtonai.mdc: sorry, sidetracked.
[12:48:06 AM] Kristina: i was like, that's not an emotion
[12:48:11 AM] Kristina: it's part of an emotion
[12:48:24 AM] Burtonai.mdc: we can feel more than one emotion at once, but we feel the strong emotions. we don't feel that subtle crap.
[12:48:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and i'd never think of an orgasm as part of an emotion.
[12:48:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it is very definitely physical
[12:48:58 AM] Kristina: that's why when a woman gets mad, a guy has no idea what he did
[12:49:06 AM] Burtonai.mdc: or didnt do
[12:49:09 AM] Kristina: because women pay attention to everything
[12:49:28 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and that's WAY too much detail.
[12:49:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: at least in relationships.
[12:49:46 AM] Kristina: mmhm
[12:50:10 AM] Kristina: but it's the way the brain works
[12:50:21 AM] Kristina: where guys it's just whatever
[12:50:34 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it sucks, it's like playing a game when you know you don't know all the rules, and will never be allowed to see all the rules, and you just have to go with it.
[12:51:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's like trying to play poker without being able to see half your own cards.
[12:51:24 AM] Kristina: so make a guess and go with it
[12:51:40 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and 7 out of 10 i'll guess wrong.
[12:51:51 AM] Kristina: but theres that 3
[12:51:57 AM] Kristina: it's about risk
[12:52:25 AM] Kristina: and ya know, it's not easy with relationship with guys either, because alot of emotion they can be blind to
[12:53:04 AM] Kristina: because most guys are like you in the way they don't know what their doing
[12:53:12 AM] Kristina: and that gets girls mad
[12:54:02 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'm lucky, because i at least realize i'm playing poker, even though i can't see my cards, i have a clue. plenty of guys think they're playing blackjack.
[12:54:36 AM] Kristina: blackjack u have a clue, u just don't see one card
[12:54:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: you see both of your cards, and one of everyone else's.
[12:55:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: poker you see all of your cards and no one elses
[12:55:33 AM] Burtonai.mdc: love you see half of your cards and she drops hints about her crads.
[12:55:36 AM] Burtonai.mdc: *cards
[12:55:43 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's like bastardized go fish.
[12:55:55 AM] Kristina: and some people love that game
[12:56:48 AM] Kristina: well, guys are quick to come on stong and show all their cards and the girl wants to play it safe
[12:57:05 AM] Kristina: so she only hints
[12:57:37 AM] Kristina: actually, it been getting the reverse lately, girls have been coming on very strong to guys
[12:57:54 AM] Kristina: and the guys show half their cards
[12:57:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the world's going nuts.
[12:58:22 AM] Burtonai.mdc: guys show cards, girls show cards, and we play with two decks and a hand of poemon cards.
[12:58:27 AM] Burtonai.mdc: *pokemon
[12:59:01 AM] Kristina: and some people have cards up their sleves and cheat
[12:59:03 AM] Burtonai.mdc: my charizard beats your king of spades, unless your wartortle attacks my 8 of clubs.
[12:59:14 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and then you activate my trap card.
[12:59:32 AM] Kristina: whoa, did it just turn to yugiou?
[12:59:37 AM] Burtonai.mdc: so i play angel's feather and gain 4 life.
[12:59:42 AM] Kristina: ah, magic
[12:59:48 AM] Burtonai.mdc: with yugioh
[1:00:21 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'll trade you a mark mcguire card for 2nd base.
[1:00:46 AM] Kristina: i think you've already been there
[1:00:52 AM] Kristina: you're not getting back
[1:01:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: 1, yes, with a maybe.
[1:01:11 AM] Kristina: but, everyone has different ideas on what the bases are
[1:01:17 AM] Burtonai.mdc: 2, that was metaphorical.
[1:01:43 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the general ones that matt pete and i tend to agree on are as follows:
[1:01:56 AM] Burtonai.mdc: first, kissing. that one's universal.
[1:02:22 AM] Burtonai.mdc: second, boobies, generally inside the shirt. pretty widely agreed on.
[1:02:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third, i always thought, was south of the border. however, that has been demoted to shortstop.
[1:03:20 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third, we have come to agree, is south of the border inside the pants.
[1:03:26 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and a home run is a home run, which is universal.
[1:03:55 AM] Kristina: it's always between the second and third bases that everyone gets confused
[1:04:04 AM] Burtonai.mdc: yup.
[1:04:18 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third is tricky.
[1:04:27 AM] Burtonai.mdc: some say hands, some say oral.
[1:04:37 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the general census is that third is oral.
[1:04:41 AM] Kristina: i thought hands was 2nd
[1:04:52 AM] Kristina: yes, 3rd is definately
[1:04:53 AM] Burtonai.mdc: hands up the shirt is second.
[1:05:06 AM] Burtonai.mdc: hands down the pants is shortstop,
[1:05:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: mouth in the crotch is third.
[1:05:23 AM] Kristina: what about handjobs?
[1:05:28 AM] Kristina: that be second or third?
[1:06:03 AM] Kristina: i think feeling someone up in anyway, that's second
[1:06:44 AM] Kristina: actually, i talked about this with the girls last time i was at bets
[1:07:02 AM] Kristina: because we were having a disagreement with the bases
[1:07:29 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'd think that'd fall under shortstop-ish territory.
[1:07:39 AM] Burtonai.mdc: wanna try??
[1:07:44 AM] Kristina: when did the shortstop get in there?
[1:07:54 AM] Kristina: that just makes everything more confusing
[1:08:13 AM] Kristina: burton....
[1:08:31 AM] Burtonai.mdc: shortstop is the position (giggity) between second and third.
[1:08:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: anal is, quite obviously, a foul ball.
[1:08:55 AM] Kristina: there is no shortstop in my book
[1:09:02 AM] Kristina: omg
[1:09:07 AM] Kristina: now i'm just laughing
[1:09:33 AM] Kristina: what's a ball 4, take your base?
[1:09:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ...she's kissing you out of sympathy?
[1:10:26 AM] Kristina: no, i think that's when someone goes and gets a hooker
[1:10:55 AM] Kristina: lol
[1:11:01 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ...that's more like paying off the scorekeeper to give you a free run.
[1:11:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i hope you see my status on facebook.
[1:11:23 AM] Kristina: then what's a bunt?
[1:13:00 AM] Burtonai.mdc: fuck if i know.

I am ashamed of my country's people.

I don't know how the fuck i'm doing it, guys. i do not know. but it gets me out of work.

15.5 months. two er visits, both leading to me being diagnosed after four hours of painful waiting, followed by being admitted and sleeping hooked up to machines.

so the first time, as you're all aware, was mono. this time, i decided to go a more obscure and challenging route, and cough myself to... well, not death. but a lot of pain.
so i'm coughing. coughing like i'm dying. coughing like i'm an asthmatic with his throat swelling shut, when suddenly, i'm an asthmatic with his throat swelling shut. so i figure "sure, it's a good start" call up my mom, and she gets scared, and says "i'm hauling your ass to the hospital, fuck bel-air" so i walked out to the road for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate didnt say fresh, there were no dice in the mirror, if anything, i could say it looked like my mom's car, and it was.
so i got to the er, they treated the asthma, and i said, "wait, my throat feels the same", well, ok, the doctor goes, "we'll give you some steroids" 40 mg of prednizone. doesnt do anything. wait 15 minutes, my chest starts hurting. nice, shooting pain, right up from the solar plexus, and that fucker HURT. ok, well, by this point, it's seven, and the doctor changes. so the next doctor listens, looks at my throat for an eighth of a second and goes "nah, you don't have any swelling or infection." maybe the steroids gave you heartburn. here, have some pepto. ok, whatever, i think i can tell the difference between heartburn and my breastbone being split open, but whatev's, you're the doctor.
doesnt do shit. surprise, surprise. so i take a nap. have a sweet ass dream about the girl i care about pulling a gun on her ex. of course, being the one who's thinking about being a cop, i end up with a gun pointed at her, when suddenly, she's crying, asking if i've ever gotten "fall sadness" (tl;dr, i'm a hopeless romantic who wants to be the one saving her)
suddenly, i wake up. disoriented. don't know where i am. and oh, yeah, if i breath in more than about a sixth of a breath, my ribs explode. needless to say, shit sucked.
"let's get you an x-ray" ...good idea. waiting for about ten minutes, then some guy sticks his head in "so, get your x ray yet?" ...why, yes! yes i did! i just pulled it out of my ASS!!
half hour later, some other guy takes me to get the xray, then i head back to the er room. and wait.

and wait.

"gee, good thing we got that xray, you have 'pneumo-thorax' means you have air in your chest."
"oh, uh, outside of your lungs."
...no shit? really? and here i thought i couldnt breath because there was air, ya know, in my lungs, where it belongs? so i'm in pain. so they hook me up to a heart monitor, oxygen, throw a needle in my arm, take some blood... and then, they give me...

Morphine. Glorious, glorious morphine. and despite my huge resistance to painkillers (when i've had to get stitches, i tend to end up with a double dose of painkiller because a normal dose just isnt enough. i gotta bang those seven gram rocks.) i feel... much less pain. like, i can breathe 3/4 breaths again. and i wait for another like, 2 hours then the clowns transfer me to vassar brothers.

ok, now shit gets real. get to vassar brothers, get a ct scan of my chest. this indian guy named tony, a physician's assistant, takes a look, comes to visit, says ok, this is what's going on. lays it all out, tells me what he saw, what's good, what's bad, what happens next, then says "i'm going to go call the surgeon, the doctor, we'll talk, and i'll be back." cool. so i watch McLintock on amc on the emergency room tv, half hour later, he's back. "ok, we're going to get you a barium swallow xray, then your going to be admitted, we'll observe you for 23 hours, and then you'll probably go home." sweet.

if you have a choice between a barium swallow xray, and eating shit, eat the shit, because you won't still have the shits 7 hours later. the taste is probably about equal. technically, i couldnt do the barium swallow, because if i had the leak in my esophagus we were looking for, the barium would make surgery rough. so i got the same technique with some other shit, which if my esophagus leaked would be fine, but if i accidentally gagged and breathed it, it'd fuck my lungs over in about 2 seconds.

protip: watching yourself drink a shit flavored milkshake is still cool when you can see it go down your throat into your stomach. it just tastes like... well, shit. watching your body on medical equipment is fun. i've watched my own heart, seen my liver and spleen, seen the bones of my ankles and feet, watched blood flow through my carotid, and now i've seen my ribcage and collarbones, while watching myself drink a shit milkshake.

after which, i got transferred to the cardiothoracic unit and ordered dinner. food, for the first time in 18 hours.

i ate, then got up and pissed out my rectum. they didnt tell me about how the shit milkshake came out. NOT. FUN. i'll spare you the greater details.

but since then, i've been chilling in the room, eating, drinking, enjoying free wifi, and thanking god i don't have to share my bathroom with anyone else. took a nap, dreamt about cards, cars and boats, woke up, gotten iv antibiotics, used one of the most entertaining pieces of asthma-treating equipment, and making some very fine women feel good (told the night nurse how to get rid of her hiccups.)

so, for your entertainment, i close with a copy of the note i wrote to my mother when i was first admitted to dutchess, when talking hurt like hell. it's only my part, i could hear fine.

---
it's helping my lungs, but my throat isnt changing. give it more time?

in which case i wouldnt have been able to breathe before. we knew that.

keeping my jaw tight hurts after a while. not tight, clenched.

Nebulyzers make me feel like a dragon. XD

I can't inhale constantly, i have to exhale in between. duh.
---
ok, that wasnt as funny as i remembered. but the monocle and pipe jokes, and dragon jokes made up for it. ahh, physical humor.

tl;dr: emergency rooms arent fun, being admitted is better. oh, and shit milkshakes.

/give mdc 10 64
/give mdc 51 64
/give mdc 46 64

...i mean what? no idea what you're talking about. lava? fire? what are these things? i don't have the code for tnt memorized...

HO GOME

you know, i thought this was odd that it was in the requests thread, and now i'm just confus.

seriously, i'm 12 and what is this.