I'm browsing reddit late at night right now. It's usually the last thing I do before bed. I came across an interesting thread about a guy who was about to get fired from his 9-to-5 day job at the offices of [insert big corporation here] in NYC. He knew it about a week in advance (they have lists of the upcoming employees to get fired) and was looking for the best comeback to the whole firing process. He was looking for things to do in his office, because management would come to the office to collect his things for him and find a nasty surprise.
This answer, however, really does trump the rest:
I think you should think long-term here instead of short-term. While it may make a great bar story or get you a few "High-Fives", you could be losing out on a windfall. This might be a blessing in disguise.
When an employee is let go, HR and the boss deliver the news in an office, with the door closed and a heavy atmosphere. This is all a science, they have calculated out what they think you will take to walk away and feel good about it. They have created a two-on-one situation where the employee is alone and the management is on the other side "telling" them how its going to be, the terms of YOUR unemployment.
It doesn't have to be that way, with a little bit of planning and some luck, you can walk away with much more and negotiate your own terms of termination. Get on the net (at home, duh) and look up who your direct competition is, try to figure out where past employees left and went and target them. Look up and see if they have any job openings, could be just entry-level stuff, black out some of the information so that it more closely resembles your job or some of your duties. Be sure to black-out any information like contact info, website address, etc.You don t want them to be able to verify this information. Print those out, make a copy of them with the stuff blacked-out and keep them on you while at work.
When you are called in, the negotiation begins. They will tell you how much severance, how long you will have health-care coverage, etc, etc. Keep those papers in an envelope or a folder. Tell them that you have known that you were going to be let go for a while and have prepared. Their looks will tell you how this is not in their plan and they will have to play this a little looser. Tell them that you are negotiating for a better severance package and do not feel that what they have offered is commensurate with what you do and have done for the company. Don't get into a pissing match, just say that you don't feel it fair and turn the question back on them, if they were asked to leave the company on a few minutes notice, would they take 8 weeks severance? Would they accept what someone else feels is due?
Tell them that there are positions at strategic companies right now that need your skill set, and with the knowledge of what I have experienced over the duration of your employment at "X Company", you think that you would be welcomed at their direct competitors, where you could verse them in depth upon the shortcomings and weaknesses that you have seen.
If they balk, or say they have to get this OK'd by the people upstairs, tell them to do what they gotta do and sit tight. Don't get cocky and don't lose your nerve.
Ask them to notate the agreement to reflect the new terms, have them initial and date it and walk out with that paper.
If they balk, tell them that when you walk out, you are going to hold up a few fingers, this is your secret signal to some key people of what kid of deal you got. If they don't want some of their employees leaving en masse or flying to other companies, you need to feel like you got a good deal, do not name the terms, make them name the terms and keep coming back with "and thats the best you can do?", never losing eye contact.
Walk away with your head held high and do not look back.
You should be updating your resume and not be on Reddit right now, though. Good luck.
Realistic? Maybe not. Great way to make the boss feel uncomfortable about firing you? Yes. No need to be cocky, and no need to push the point, but with a calm attitude and some organized planning, you can turn the tables and make management feel like they're in a tough spot. They expect to just tell you the terms of getting fired and to escort you out. Instead, make them feel uneasy about the process. What an amazing psychological trick.
