Funny Convos

[Spy]

GG: isnt it great??
TG: nah
TG: lavas better
GG: lava is NOT better than snow :|
TG: yeah it is lava and skeletal skyscrapers all melting and shit how is that not way cooler than
TG: snow and
TG: like
TG: more snow
GG: you cant play in lava, its no fun
GG: you can only die in lava
TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit
TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich

[kevipapo1]

So apparently in Germany everyone on Omegle is a girl. Seriously, all my convos were with "girls"...

You: asl?
Stranger: hiii
You: im hefty
You: whats up?
You: u f?
Stranger: 40 female wherever you want me to be
You: hell yes
You: 67 and still rockin 6 packs
You: u MILF?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: wat about you sugar?
Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl
Stranger: i have 2 grandkinds
Stranger: *kids

You: hey
You: im hefty
You: u f?
You: im strong like the garbage bag
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: owh yeah?
Stranger: hmm
You: yeah
You: wrap me up however you want
You: double knot it if you want

There will be more

[ichaelmay8]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

[rokrboy]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

[Haloruler64]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

My "girl" said that, I'm ok with penis.

[stjimmyskater]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

My "girl" said that, I'm ok with penis.

I'm just lonely.

[Haloruler64]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

My "girl" said that, I'm ok with penis.

I'm just lonely.

Me too.

[nedthehead]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

My "girl" said that, I'm ok with penis.

I'm just lonely.

Me too.

FUCK YOU GUYS! I'M THE LONELY ONE! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY PLACE?!?!

[Haloruler64]

Stranger: haha well i'm technically a girl

You never want to hear a "girl" say this.

QFT

My "girl" said that, I'm ok with penis.

I'm just lonely.

Me too.

FUCK YOU GUYS! I'M THE LONELY ONE! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY PLACE?!?!

Take your place? No one wants Canada. The only reason the French took it was because they were desperate to win at least one war so they just came and said "our land" and you guys were "okay" and then Stalin was born

[Haloruler64]

Me talking to a friend who lives in Germany

[2:55:40 PM] Cornelius: dude, the funniest thing happened to me today
[2:55:46 PM] Cornelius: I'm doing some translational work for my mum right now
[2:56:06 PM] Cornelius: it's a report from some Indonesian guys who visited her congregation last year
[2:56:23 PM] Cornelius: and it's in English so she asked me to translate it so she could present it to some people that don't know the language
[2:56:37 PM] Cornelius: so I was skimming over it so I could translate it later
[2:56:53 PM] Cornelius: and there was one sentence, I just skipped it, kept reading, then i was like... what the
[2:56:57 PM] Cornelius: went back and read it
[2:57:06 PM | Edited 2:57:09 PM] Cornelius: and it said: "See the picture in the appendix"
[2:57:15 PM] Cornelius: I was just like... what the fuck
[2:57:22 PM] Yosef Stalin II: What?
[2:57:27 PM] Yosef Stalin II: I dont get it... the sentence is normal
[2:57:40 PM] Cornelius: a picture in the appendix?
[2:57:43 PM] Cornelius: dude
[2:58:09 PM] Cornelius: appendix is that small nasty part of your intestine that can get infected xD
[2:59:19 PM] Yosef Stalin II: No
[2:59:24 PM] Cornelius: yeah it is xD
[2:59:30 PM] Yosef Stalin II: an appendix is also a part of the end of a book/paper with references
[2:59:42 PM] Yosef Stalin II: links to info, names of books with the info used, etc.
[2:59:54 PM] Yosef Stalin II: Oh you German!!!
[3:00:01 PM] Cornelius: I have NEVER heard that ever
[3:00:12 PM] Yosef Stalin II: Yeah its true
[3:00:14 PM] Yosef Stalin II:
[3:00:20 PM] Cornelius: oh come on -.-
[3:00:29 PM] Yosef Stalin II: Good job, I applaud you
[3:00:44 PM] Cornelius: ... screw you xD

[Spy]

[1:06:11 AM] Sam: TAKE A FUCKING SEAT
[1:06:12 AM] Sam: OR GO TO BED
[1:06:21 AM] Sam: BUT NOT BOTH
[1:06:23 AM] Chris keppel: ok
[1:06:26 AM] Chris keppel: ill take a seat
[1:06:29 AM] Sam: Right over there...
[1:06:39 AM] Chris keppel: where?
[1:06:53 AM] Sam: Just take a seat, right over there.
[1:07:00 AM] Chris keppel: ok ok
[1:07:06 AM] Chris keppel: ok im taking a seat
[1:07:09 AM] Chris keppel: ok there
[1:07:12 AM] Sam: So why did you come here tonight?
[1:07:23 AM] Chris keppel: because im stupid
[1:07:24 AM] Sam: Were you under the assumption that you would be having sex with this little boy?
[1:07:31 AM] Chris keppel: well..
[1:07:32 AM] Chris keppel: erm
[1:07:37 AM] Chris keppel: No
[1:07:38 AM] Sam: You came here for sex, is that it?
[1:07:44 AM] Chris keppel: well yeah
[1:07:51 AM] Sam: Sex, with an underage child.
[1:07:54 AM] Sam: *closeup*
[1:08:01 AM] Chris keppel: *MFW*

[Rynsuho]

for those of you who don't know, kristina is my best friend, right up there with matt and pete, and she and i do have random conversations a lot. this one took on a life of it's own.

[12:41:05 AM] Kristina: tell her how u feel
[12:41:07 AM] Kristina: all that
[12:41:13 AM] Kristina: not the long, long run
[12:41:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: that would require knowing how i feel.
[12:41:26 AM] Burtonai.mdc: little flaw in your plan there.
[12:41:30 AM] Kristina: well u gotta figure that out
[12:41:35 AM] Kristina: i can't tell u how to feel
[12:41:49 AM] Kristina: and u will figure it out
[12:42:06 AM] Kristina: i think u already have, it's just sometimes u get confused
[12:42:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: guy, feelings.
[12:42:52 AM] Burtonai.mdc: that battle was over before it started.
[12:43:07 AM] Kristina: okay, guys say they don'[t have feeling, but they do
[12:43:23 AM] Kristina: it's different, it's wayyyy diffent from a woman's
[12:43:31 AM] Kristina: but it's there
[12:43:36 AM] Burtonai.mdc: how the fuck would i know?
[12:43:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i've never been a freaking woman, that doesnt help me at all.
[12:44:13 AM] Kristina: youn nobserve it arounnd u
[12:44:15 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i know i have feelings, i just don't understand them
[12:44:29 AM] Kristina: women are very emotional, u can almost always tell something about how their feeling
[12:44:30 AM] Burtonai.mdc: let alone even trying to understand yours/
[12:44:41 AM] Kristina: guys, well, guys go work out and eat a steak
[12:44:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and women always show one emotion when they're feeling three others
[12:44:58 AM] Kristina: tell u the truth, mine aren't that complicated
[12:45:01 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's infuriating!
[12:45:23 AM] Kristina: give me an example
[12:46:51 AM] Kristina: but i think i know what your talking about
[12:47:06 AM] Kristina: women can go from one emotion to another rather quickly
[12:47:29 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and experience multiple at once.
[12:47:30 AM] Kristina: guys have a slow tranistion from one emotion to another
[12:47:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: like orgasms.
[12:47:44 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ... i mean what?
[12:47:48 AM] Burtonai.mdc: sorry, sidetracked.
[12:48:06 AM] Kristina: i was like, that's not an emotion
[12:48:11 AM] Kristina: it's part of an emotion
[12:48:24 AM] Burtonai.mdc: we can feel more than one emotion at once, but we feel the strong emotions. we don't feel that subtle crap.
[12:48:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and i'd never think of an orgasm as part of an emotion.
[12:48:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it is very definitely physical
[12:48:58 AM] Kristina: that's why when a woman gets mad, a guy has no idea what he did
[12:49:06 AM] Burtonai.mdc: or didnt do
[12:49:09 AM] Kristina: because women pay attention to everything
[12:49:28 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and that's WAY too much detail.
[12:49:38 AM] Burtonai.mdc: at least in relationships.
[12:49:46 AM] Kristina: mmhm
[12:50:10 AM] Kristina: but it's the way the brain works
[12:50:21 AM] Kristina: where guys it's just whatever
[12:50:34 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it sucks, it's like playing a game when you know you don't know all the rules, and will never be allowed to see all the rules, and you just have to go with it.
[12:51:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's like trying to play poker without being able to see half your own cards.
[12:51:24 AM] Kristina: so make a guess and go with it
[12:51:40 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and 7 out of 10 i'll guess wrong.
[12:51:51 AM] Kristina: but theres that 3
[12:51:57 AM] Kristina: it's about risk
[12:52:25 AM] Kristina: and ya know, it's not easy with relationship with guys either, because alot of emotion they can be blind to
[12:53:04 AM] Kristina: because most guys are like you in the way they don't know what their doing
[12:53:12 AM] Kristina: and that gets girls mad
[12:54:02 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'm lucky, because i at least realize i'm playing poker, even though i can't see my cards, i have a clue. plenty of guys think they're playing blackjack.
[12:54:36 AM] Kristina: blackjack u have a clue, u just don't see one card
[12:54:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: you see both of your cards, and one of everyone else's.
[12:55:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: poker you see all of your cards and no one elses
[12:55:33 AM] Burtonai.mdc: love you see half of your cards and she drops hints about her crads.
[12:55:36 AM] Burtonai.mdc: *cards
[12:55:43 AM] Burtonai.mdc: it's like bastardized go fish.
[12:55:55 AM] Kristina: and some people love that game
[12:56:48 AM] Kristina: well, guys are quick to come on stong and show all their cards and the girl wants to play it safe
[12:57:05 AM] Kristina: so she only hints
[12:57:37 AM] Kristina: actually, it been getting the reverse lately, girls have been coming on very strong to guys
[12:57:54 AM] Kristina: and the guys show half their cards
[12:57:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the world's going nuts.
[12:58:22 AM] Burtonai.mdc: guys show cards, girls show cards, and we play with two decks and a hand of poemon cards.
[12:58:27 AM] Burtonai.mdc: *pokemon
[12:59:01 AM] Kristina: and some people have cards up their sleves and cheat
[12:59:03 AM] Burtonai.mdc: my charizard beats your king of spades, unless your wartortle attacks my 8 of clubs.
[12:59:14 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and then you activate my trap card.
[12:59:32 AM] Kristina: whoa, did it just turn to yugiou?
[12:59:37 AM] Burtonai.mdc: so i play angel's feather and gain 4 life.
[12:59:42 AM] Kristina: ah, magic
[12:59:48 AM] Burtonai.mdc: with yugioh
[1:00:21 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'll trade you a mark mcguire card for 2nd base.
[1:00:46 AM] Kristina: i think you've already been there
[1:00:52 AM] Kristina: you're not getting back
[1:01:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: 1, yes, with a maybe.
[1:01:11 AM] Kristina: but, everyone has different ideas on what the bases are
[1:01:17 AM] Burtonai.mdc: 2, that was metaphorical.
[1:01:43 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the general ones that matt pete and i tend to agree on are as follows:
[1:01:56 AM] Burtonai.mdc: first, kissing. that one's universal.
[1:02:22 AM] Burtonai.mdc: second, boobies, generally inside the shirt. pretty widely agreed on.
[1:02:57 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third, i always thought, was south of the border. however, that has been demoted to shortstop.
[1:03:20 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third, we have come to agree, is south of the border inside the pants.
[1:03:26 AM] Burtonai.mdc: and a home run is a home run, which is universal.
[1:03:55 AM] Kristina: it's always between the second and third bases that everyone gets confused
[1:04:04 AM] Burtonai.mdc: yup.
[1:04:18 AM] Burtonai.mdc: third is tricky.
[1:04:27 AM] Burtonai.mdc: some say hands, some say oral.
[1:04:37 AM] Burtonai.mdc: the general census is that third is oral.
[1:04:41 AM] Kristina: i thought hands was 2nd
[1:04:52 AM] Kristina: yes, 3rd is definately
[1:04:53 AM] Burtonai.mdc: hands up the shirt is second.
[1:05:06 AM] Burtonai.mdc: hands down the pants is shortstop,
[1:05:10 AM] Burtonai.mdc: mouth in the crotch is third.
[1:05:23 AM] Kristina: what about handjobs?
[1:05:28 AM] Kristina: that be second or third?
[1:06:03 AM] Kristina: i think feeling someone up in anyway, that's second
[1:06:44 AM] Kristina: actually, i talked about this with the girls last time i was at bets
[1:07:02 AM] Kristina: because we were having a disagreement with the bases
[1:07:29 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i'd think that'd fall under shortstop-ish territory.
[1:07:39 AM] Burtonai.mdc: wanna try??
[1:07:44 AM] Kristina: when did the shortstop get in there?
[1:07:54 AM] Kristina: that just makes everything more confusing
[1:08:13 AM] Kristina: burton....
[1:08:31 AM] Burtonai.mdc: shortstop is the position (giggity) between second and third.
[1:08:55 AM] Burtonai.mdc: anal is, quite obviously, a foul ball.
[1:08:55 AM] Kristina: there is no shortstop in my book
[1:09:02 AM] Kristina: omg
[1:09:07 AM] Kristina: now i'm just laughing
[1:09:33 AM] Kristina: what's a ball 4, take your base?
[1:09:46 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ...she's kissing you out of sympathy?
[1:10:26 AM] Kristina: no, i think that's when someone goes and gets a hooker
[1:10:55 AM] Kristina: lol
[1:11:01 AM] Burtonai.mdc: ...that's more like paying off the scorekeeper to give you a free run.
[1:11:16 AM] Burtonai.mdc: i hope you see my status on facebook.
[1:11:23 AM] Kristina: then what's a bunt?
[1:13:00 AM] Burtonai.mdc: fuck if i know.

[Spy]

Sam: Why don't you take a seat. Just take a seat right over there.
Dom: I'm hungry now
Sam: Loli makes you hungry?
Dom: ... the two are unrelated...
Sam: ... Are you sure about that?
Dom: .... no

[Spy]

[03:02] VF: Fuuckiing maath, where iis the jaam?
[03:02] TS: ¿ THE GINGER HAVE THE JAAM?
[03:02] VF: My naame iis Saam aand II haave the jaam.
[03:02] TS: ¿ehehe?
[03:02] TS: ¿sam made a rhyme?
[03:02] VF: II rhyme aallll the tiime
[03:03] VF: lliike, aallmoost every lliine
[03:03] VF: yoouu caan see thaat II rhyme
[03:03] VF: juust taake iit wiith aa lliittlle lliime.
[03:03] VF: iit's noot even aa lloong clliimb
[03:04] VF: aand yoouu heaar my llyriics chiime
[03:04] VF: thaat's riight, II rhyme aallll the tiime.
[03:05] TS: ¿ you're cool?
[03:05] VF: toooo cooooll foor schooooll?
-- voraciousFeline [VF] changed their mood to SLEEK  --
[03:06] VF: Yes, II aam slleek.